jealousy

i hate to see couples holding hands..
i hate to see couples smooching..
i hate to see couples hugging each other..
i hate to see couples staring each other eyes...
i hate to see couples do the couples' stuff...

when i hang out at the mall,all over the place i can see lots of couples hanging around.
they live in their own world that make us see it is so beautiful when we fell in love.
i used to be in that beautiful world too..

i hate that cos...i'm alone now..
sometimes i felt like i'm comfortable being alone..but deep down inside
i wants someone to take care of me, make me laugh, make me feel precious..
it has been over a year since i had someone..
sometimes i wander, is it becos of myself that make them dumped me?
or i always fell in love with the wrong man.. 
or is it becos of fate? yeah i believe in fate and i never blame fate..
i blamed myself for not being good enuf for a man..


at this moment,i'm still alone but i been surrounded by my besties..
they make me happy, they make silly jokes, they be by my side when i'm down..
but i still need someone to fill in the vacant in my heart.

argh i hate this feeling..maybe i'm used to be pampered by 'him'
that makes me feel like so dependent.. but i'm trying to be independent without a man.
i still remember, what i said to my friend..
'nina dah mls nk lyn lelaki lg dh.sumenye same je!!'
but now..its different..i feel i need someone..
but i'm so afraid of being dumped again..
i'm sick and tired of a heart break..
sick and tired of crying..
sick and tired of pleading..

i want someone..
i need someone..
but i want and i need someone that can
love me more than he loves football..
take care of me more than his car or bike..
guide me to a better living..
lend me his shoulder when i need one..
and the most important thing is we complete each other...

 i'm praying that i can meet him one fine day..

DUNIA DICIPTA DGN GEMBIRA

i was a bit moody yesterday and i donno y..
i just not in the mood to answer call and do all the routine..
i hate this feeling..
and the climax of the day was when i received a call from a so called captain that so damn arrogant and he yelled at me and he said that i'm rude!! as far as i'm concern, i didnt have a chance to explain to him. he was the one who talked and yelled, no chance for me to explain or to calm him down.
i'm used to this situation and i know all my colleagues are used to this situation also but i dont know why, i felt so pissed off, but i held my anger back cos i dont want to have bad record.my anger level was at the top and my hand started shaking,my face felt hot.
after the so-no-manners-captain hung up, i started to cry.it was not becos i've been yelled by him but cos i was holding my anger and i cant say anything cos he is our caller. i called shima to be by my side and she tried to calm me down..
i cried and after a few minutes, i'm back to normal its just my eyes became sepet.a few minutes before 630pm,he called again asked for my favor to help him solve his staff's probs.he apologised to me but i was like emm ok its ok..i will never forget his name CAPTAIN HAZERI!

later, i left office alone.as i walked passed through bookstore at lrt bangsar, i saw a comic titled DUNIA DICIPTA DGN GEMBIRA. i bought it and i read it.it was kinda interesting comic and i makes me cheer up again. thanx to this comic, i almost forgot about that so-rude-captain just now.i enjoyed the contents and also the artwork.thanx USAMI MAKI. u cheered me up again :)

i am beautiful ^.^

i juz checked out stuffs in my pendrives and i saw pictures of me taken by alan a few months back..
i almost forgot how much i love these pics..the pics that he shot, makes me feel beautiful (and it certainly does looked beautiful)
as for alan,i'm his first model.at first i'm kinda shy2 cat cos i know that i'm not that beautiful to be his model but he said, i'm photogenic aww :)

first spot was at klcc.when he asked me to pose,alamak,segannye hehe..but he dont mind cos he knew that i'm not used to this..
i never thought that i'm beautiful hehe it makes me wanna sing Beautiful by christina aguilera
and when alan gave me those pics, i was wow,is that me? cantiknye hehe

it quite sometime since our last shoot..now i'm not the only alan's model, he got a few more girls that are volunteered themself to be his model.and i admitted that they are beautiful and gorgeous more than me..
sometimes it makes me kinda segan to have a photoshoot with alan again since he has gorgeous girls around him now..emm maybe becos i've put on weight huhu..but we had picked a date for our next photoshoot hehe
juz wait n see how it gonna turn out hehe


these are the pictures that always be my fav :)

KLCC

TASIK PERMAISURI&PUTRAJAYA