untitled..

urgh..i donno what is the prob with my pc at home.
i cant login to blogger that's why i didnt update anything..
dah lupa dah pn pe yg jd kt aku this week huhu

well let's start with the unhappy news first..
we all at contact center received an email from kak has saying that:

Untuk makluman semua,
Anak Mohd Hafiz Razali yg bungsu (6 bulan) sekarang berada di wad kecemasan di Hospital Selayang. Keadaan anaknya kritikal disebabkan pendarahan di otak. Marilah kita bersama - sama berdoa kepada Allah semoga anaknya kembali sembuh. Amin...
Sekian

 all of us was surprised by that news.poor that lil girl..i felt like crying,cant imagine how hard for hafiz and wife to take this test from Allah.but i know that he is gonna be strong and all of us are gonna pray for hafiz's baby girl.
cant imagine how is that lil girl go thru all those pain and suffer.
some of our colleagues went to visit him at HUKM. hope to hear good news from them.hafiz is such a nice guy,he is very soft-spoken person and also polite.everyone at contact center like him and i'm sure all of us praying for the best to his baby..

we supposed to have a volleyball match but due to hafiz's condition, it has been postponed. so i decided to go to netball selection at brickfield but it was cancelled too. urm so what to do, i have to go home..
on my way out of main entrance, someone called me.he said his 'baby' broke down and he is waiting for the tow truck.he asked me to join him for a drink. i just follow him cos i dont felt like going home that time.

lepakking at fatty..
we chatted,we laughed and there was something i knew about him..
that he not that bad.. he just trying to have fun to get over his ex..
he told me about what happened between him and his ex.kinda heart breaking story..he seems to love her so much but maybe she didnt see all the sacrifices that he did for her..i realized that he had his good side but all he did was having fun.
he's partying,clubbing just to enjoy his life and the main point i guess is to get over his ex.i didnt even know that his ex is working in the same building as him.
what an ungrateful woman she is.i can see that he still care for her..but maybe they are not meant for each other..

well, i gotta chance to hear him talked to one of his scandal..hehe
he seems like such a caring guy, any girl would cair la when they heard him persuade a girl that felt down with her study. i didnt even know he is such a caring person..yela, we are like dog and cat.he always got his way to make me annoyed. but i know he just teasing me and not to make me really2 annoyed.
i like the way he persuaded that girl.so....how to put it in a word ha..urm donno la..but really can make a girl cair la and kinda fall in love with him. hahahaha

but when he told me that he is involving with drugs, im kinda shocked. it never come across my mind that he took drugs. he said he used to stop taking drugs but after the broke up, he started all over again.
urm.. why men always like that? urm i dont think men only,women are also like that but in a different way. only because of someone that dont want u anymore, u have to destroy your precious life? i dont think so..
i used to face those kind of situation too but i took the path that wont hurt or destroy myself..well, lain org lain cara dia..yes i agree with that but why u took that path?
urm let him decide..he grown up enuf to think about it.who am i to nag or give him an advice.i dont even close with him.just a friend that are not really important to him.

terus aku teringat suggestion from shema.. ade ke patot dia bagi brilliant idea for me to couple with him???!!! (that person i mentioned above)
well, he wasnt so bad. i can accept his social life because i do like man who has his own social life.i donno why i like a badboy hehe but what i cant take is his scandalisme..
ohooo not again la..i dont want to break my heart anymore..cukup2 la its broken into pieces last time..ni baru nak cantum2 balik..if he only like to party,clubbing, i still can take it but not for scandalisme..a big NO!!!
aku ni dah la jenis setia (masuk bakul angkat sendiri) and also jenis jealousy (a bit la).. kang dok mkn ati lak kan..so i just said to shema,lai, wani and janna...
just forget it!
it is such a big risk..it's true that people can change but what's the point if he dont want to change himself..right? i used to change a guy that was miserable, ilang arah into a person that who can bought a car and a bike in a year, can support his siblings, has a stable job and stopped from taking drugs and drinking..even his relatives impressed with him.. but in the end...he dumped me..

what enuf is enuf!!!

biarla dia dgn cara dia..i dont think that he need a steady girl rite now when he is enjoying his single and full of scandalisme life..(even though he need a steady girl that he want to take her as a wife,i dont think it's gonna be me..i'm so not his type i guess)
i just pray for him that one day he will change =)

p/s: if 1 day, 'him' read this,sorry, i didnt mean to talk bad bout u..it is just that i'm concern bout u..

ha sambung skit lagi, the tow truck has arrived, we took off from fatty. he went to the towing truck and i headed straight to lrt station..
owh ya, i bought another comic titled : PENTAS REALITI: ASPIRASI SENI by fakhrul anour (one of the cartoonist from GEMPAK and UTOPIA). i tot it is like a normal comic..but i was wrong,it is more to novel..only a few pages that have the comic.. sigh.. but it was kinda okay la..i enjoyed it.. :)

i've told him..

i have a crush on him since we was form 2 which is about 9 years ago..
and he knew bout it..cos if i'm not mistaken i've told him that i've crush on him..
and i still remember he said that:
kita jauh,ko kat selangor,aku kt perak..nnt merana diri masing2

if i'm not mistaken it was on 2005 new year's eve.and i agreed with him on that.and on that time i hv a bf so i dont mind he said that.my intention was just to let him know.
then he furthered his studies at UM on 2005 and i was doing my practical started july 2005 at DBKL. we often met up since he studied there.
i still remembered the first time i met him after a few years we havent seen each other, he is so smart, sweet,handsome and i felt in love with him again (eventhough i had a bf) i hv to admit that he took my breath away.
we always chilled out together, went to klcc,midvalley and i having a great time together.owh my,i cant resist the look in his eyes..

i donno y even though i had a bf,i still cant tell my heart to stop adoring,admiring him. i cant tell what's so special on him that made me floating every time he smsed me, ym-ed me..
we was closed before but i've done a huge mistake by introduced my lousy ex-housemate to him.i admit that i was my fault bcos i dont want that girl to tell him that she was my housemate and that girl kept on lying to him (unfortunately,she was not a good liar) and then i came clean to him by telling him that she was my housemate.
since that moment, our friendship started to apart.he pissed off cos he thought we wanted to make fool of himself and he dont trust me anymore eversince.

i misses the time he texted me the cute sms or silly joke sms..even though we still keep in touch but its not the same as before..he kinda giving me the cold shoulder

and tonite..
when i was online facebook-ing..he buzzed me on ym..
we chatted a while until he said he wanted to out. then i asked him

me:ko ade tak nak turun kl dlm ms terdekat ni?

him: xtau lg la cyg,nape?

me: sbb aku nk gtau ko yg aku still hv a crush on u dr dl lg..aku tau ko xde feeling kt aku tp ntah,aku just terasa aku nk gtau ko..2 je la,k bye..

i signed out quickly cos i felt ashamed by telling him that. i dont know what he feel but when i signed in again,i didnt see any message from him.
i regretted it so damn much..
so i guess i've ruined our precious friendship.

i'm sorry KHUZAIRY a.k.a KUCAI,i cant stop it..
i donno why, i donno how but it seems you touched my life...

Orang Yang Mencintai Kamu......♥♥

1] Orang yang mencintai kamu tidak pernah mampu memberikan alasan kenapa dia mencintai kamu. Yang dia tahu di hati dan matanya hanya ada kamu satu-satunya. 
~yeah but we always wanna know why he/she loves us~

2] Walaupun kamu sudah memiliki teman istimewa atau kekasih, dia tidak perduli! Baginya yang penting kamu bahagia dan kamu tetap menjadi impiannya.
~that is the true love is..cinta xsemestinye bersatu~

3] Orang yang mencintai kamu selalu menerima kamu apa adanya, di hati dan matanya kamu selalu yang tercantik walaupun mungkin kamu merasa berat badan kamu sudah bertambah.
~kita menerima seadanya bukan menjadikan dia seperti yg kita mahu~

4] Orang yang mencintai kamu selalu ingin tahu tentang apa saja yang kamu lalui sepanjang hari ini, dia ingin tahu kegiatan kamu.
~it's becos he/she care bout u~

5] Orang yang mencintai kamu akan mengirimkan SMS seperti ‘Selamat Pagi’,'Selamat Hari Minggu’, ‘Selamat Tidur’,‘Take Care’, dan lain-lain lagi, walaupun kamu tidak membalas SMS-nya, kerana dengan kiriman SMS itulah dia menyatakan cintanya, menyatakan dalam cara yang berbeza,bukan “aku CINTA padamu”, tapi berselindung ayat selain kata cinta itu.
~omigosh, so he still love me?but i know we cant never be 2gether again becos he broke my heart into uncollectable pieces~

6] Jika kamu menyambut hari tahun dan kamu tidak mengundangnya ke majlis yang kamu adakan, setidak-tidaknya dia akan menelefon untuk mengucapkan selamat atau mengirim SMS.
~yes he still did..even after 4 years we broke up~

7] Orang yang mencintai kamu akan selalu mengingat setiap kejadian yang dia lalui bersama kamu, bahkan mungkin kejadian yang kamu sendiri sudah melupakannya, kerana saat itu ialah sesuatu yang berharga untuknya.Dan saat itu, matanya pasti berkaca. kerana saat bersamamu itu tidak bisa berulang selalu.
~he still remember all of our moments together even i forgot bout it~

8] Orang yang mencintai kamu selalu mengingati setiap kata-kata yang kamu ucapkan, bahkan mungkin kata-kata yang kamu sendiri lupa pernah mengungkapkannya. kerana dia menyematkan kata-kata mu di hatinya,berapa banyak kata-kata penuh harapan yang kau tuturkan padanya, dan akhirnya kau musnahkan? pasti kau lupa, tetapi bukan orang yang mencintai kamu.
~well i still remember those word he said to me but he broke it..~

9] Orang yang mencintai kamu akan belajar menggemari lagu-lagu kegemaran kamu, bahkan mungkin meminjam CD milik kamu, kerana dia ingin tahu apa kegemaran kamu - kesukaan kamu kesukaannya juga, walaupun sukar meminati kesukaan kamu, tapi akhirnya da berjaya.
~emm no comment on this..but i do tried to like what he likes~

10] Kalau kali terakhir kalian bertemu kamu mungkin sedang selesema, atau batuk-batuk, dia akan sentiasa mengirim SMS atau menelefon untuk bertanya keadaan kamu - kerana dia bimbangkan tentang kamu, peduli tentang kamu.
~emm that was so sweet~

11] Jika kamu mengatakan akan menghadapi ujian, dia akan tanyakan bila ujian itu berlangsung, dan saat harinya tiba dia akan mengirimkan SMS ‘good luck’ untuk memberi semangat kepada kamu.
~that is called caring and loving~

12] Orang yang mencintai kamu akan memberikan suatu barang miliknya yang mungkin buat kamu itu ialah sesuatu yang biasa, tetapi baginya barang itu sangat istimewa.
~yeah it must be have some sentimental value~

13] Orang yang mencintai kamu akan terdiam sesaat, ketika sedang bercakap di telefon dengan kamu, sehingga kamu menjadi bingung. Sebenarnya saat itu dia merasa sangat gugup kerana kamu telah menggegarkan dunianya.
~emm pernah ke anybody feel like this towards me? urm i dont think so =( ~

14] Orang yang mencintai kamu selalu ingin berada di dekat kamu dan ingin menghabiskan hari-harinya hanya dengan kamu.
~yes i bet everyone would feel the same~

15] Jika suatu saat kamu harus pindah ke daerah lain, dia akan sentiasa memberikan nasihat agar kamu waspada dengan persekitaran yang boleh membawa pengaruh buruk kepada kamu. dan jauh dihatinya dia benar-benar takut kehilangan kamu, pernah dengar ‘jauh dimata, jauh dihati?’

16] Orang yang mencintai kamu bertindak lebih seperti saudara daripada seperti seorang kekasih.

17] Orang yang mencintai kamu sering melakukan hal-hal yang SENGAL seperti menelefon kamu 100 kali dalam masa sehari. Atau mengejutkan kamu di tengah malam dengan mengirim SMS. Sebenarnya ketika itu dia sedang memikirkan kamu.
~that is so sweet~

18] Orang yang mencintai kamu kadang-kadang merindukan kamu dan melakukan hal-hal yang membuat kamu pening kepala. Namun ketika kamu mengatakan tindakannya itu membuat kamu terganggu dia akan
minta maaf dan tak akan melakukannya lagi.

19] Jika kamu memintanya untuk mengajarimu sesuatu maka ia akan dgn sabar walaupun kamu mungkin orang yang terbodoh di dunia!. bahkan dia begitu gembira kerana dapat membantu kamu. dia tidak pernah
mengelak dari menunaikan permintaan kamu walau sesukar mana permintaan mu.

20] Kalau kamu melihat handphone-nya maka nama kamu akan menghiasi sebahagian besar INBOX-nya. Dia masih menyimpan SMS-SMS dari kamu walaupun ia kamu kirim berbulan-bulan atau bertahun-tahun
yang lalu. Dia juga menyimpan surat-surat kamu di tempat khas dan segala pemberian kamu menjadi benda-benda berharga buatnya.

21] Dan jika kamu cuba menjauhkan diri daripadanya atau memberi reaksi menolaknya, dia akan menyedarinya dan menghilang dari kehidupan kamu, walaupun hal itu membunuh hatinya.
~it's hurt~

22] Jika suatu saat kamu merindukannya dan ingin memberinya kesempatan dia akan ada menunggu kamu kerana sebenarnya dia tak pernah mencari orang lain. Dia sentiasa menunggu kamu.
~i'm gonna cry if someone actually did this becos of me..but i guess i'm da one who is waiting~

23] Orang yang begitu mencintaimu, tidak pernah memaksa kamu memberinya sebab dan alasan, walaupun hatinya meronta ingin mengetahui, kerana dia tidak mahu kamu terbeban dengan karenahnya. saat kau pinta dia berlalu,dia pergi tanpa menyalahkan kamu, kerana dia benar-benar mengerti apa itu cinta.

[ Pernah adakah orang yang berbuat seperti di atas kepada kamu? Jika ada,jangan pernah mensia- siakan orang tersebut… kamu akan menyesal melakukannya!]

note: he was the one who cheated on me cos of another girl but he did some of the abovesaid..